Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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