Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
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