Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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