all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
