I wish my penis had an off switch
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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