There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
