Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
