I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
