I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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