Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize
