Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
