I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
