We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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