He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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