she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
