yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Be still, my beating vagina.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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