What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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