i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
