I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Randomize
