So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
