Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
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Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
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Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize