...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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