Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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