party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
