My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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