Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Hippo gnu deer
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
