allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
