Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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