so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
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