you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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