It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
