this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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