oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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