What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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