Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
