that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
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Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
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And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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