So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
