I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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