Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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