Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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