I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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