a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
This is my gift to your gina
Brb crying the tears of my youth
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Shame is for Republicans.
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