i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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