I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
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He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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