whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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