he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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