in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
