Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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