Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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