Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
