i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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