yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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