My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
