So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Randomize
