right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
This house was built for laser tag.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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