i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
What a dumb baby whore.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
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