she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I'm passing your future prison.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
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