just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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