Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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